Anxiety isn’t always apparent.
Anxiety isn’t crying in the corner.
Anxiety isn’t the quiet kid.
Anxiety isn’t logical.
Anxiety isn’t concerned with your social status.
Anxiety isn’t what you think it is.
It’s much, much more.
I had a panic attack whilst apparently laughing, smiling and having a good time. As soon as I was done pretending, I ran to the bathroom to use my inhaler because I felt like my chest was going to implode and my lungs were going to burst into flames and my throat was going to swallow the rest of my body whole. I was having a panic attack, but no one was the wiser.
I think in our minds, we see anxiety as this very obvious, very distinct behavior pattern or type of person. And that just isn’t true. Mental illness affects millions of people and we hide it. Everyday. Living in plain sight.
If I were cleverer, I’d pretend it’s like having a superpower. A keen sensitivity to my surroundings, to the energies around me. But I’m not, and it doesn’t feel like a superpower. It feels like a weakness. Something that makes me less than everyone else.
Do you feel that way too? If so, I highly recommend talking to a professional! I use writing as a creative outlet, but sometimes you need someone who can talk without emotions getting in the way. I’ve been a user of BetterHelp on and off for several years and absolutely adore my counselor.
There’s nothing wrong with you (or me), anxiety, depression and a multitude of other mental health issues affect millions of people every day. So if you’re feeling them overwhelm of going through it alone, remember that you don’t have to.